As a child I was always a bit of a worrier. I remember a Brownie meeting when a fireman came and talked about turning off all electric plug sockets at night. My Dad was resolutely determined not to have to reprogramme the Betamax video recorder everyday so refused point blank. I went to bed convinced we would burn in our beds.
I had to have the door open just so (my own palm's width) and the landing light on.
I went through a fear of my parents dying which I obviously never mentioned to them. Instead I thought it was better to say "see you in the morning" every night. If they said it back everything would be fine. If they didn't I spent hour tossing and turning expecting the worst.
I shouldn't really be surprised therefore that my own eldest daughter can worry for England. Although it only happens the instant I leave the room after I put her to bed so I'm pretty sure it's sometimes a delaying tactic. She's not daft. Mention a fear of death and what parent doesn't hang around for another half an hour chatting in a reassuring fashion?
That isn't fair really. She definitely does worry. Although the worries sometimes seem wildly different from each other.
Last night she was worried she'd upset her friend two months ago by refusing to let her do her nails. Last week it was about having to swim without goggles. She is often worried about the saggy state of her panda's arms. Often it's how long she will have to live with her verrucas and whether bits of her will fall off.
Tonight she is worried about all the endangered animals in the world and what on earth can be done about it. This one has come up more than once and, well, I can't exactly say "it'll be alright, go to bed and I'll add more stuffing tomorrow" to fix it.
So in a desperate bid to get her to go to sleep (so I can actually write something) I've promised we will consider some more fund raising efforts for the WWF (not the wrestlers of course) as a family. So brace yourselves.
Let's hope tomorrow's worry is about socks again.
Thursday, 25 September 2014
Tuesday, 23 September 2014
Another letter to the council
To whom it may concern
I’m at a bit of a loss as to how to raise this concern. The website allows me to complain about pot holes and litter but there is no way of complaining about thoughtless dangerous people parking in the wrong place. So I’m sending this to you in the hopes that it reaches someone appropriate.
Now I appreciate some parents can be extremely troublesome. I, for one, am annoying. I keep writing to the council about litter, potholes and traffic congestion. But it seems that some parents are even worse than this, especially when it comes to the use of their legs.
For many parents apparently the idea of parking safely around a school and walking 100 metres further is a terrible inconvenience. I could be forgiving and say there is perhaps a much better reason for this than ignorance and laziness. Perhaps they can’t read the signs, or don’t understand what a yellow line means. Which is worrying in itself as they all appear to have driving licences.
So some of our parents, (for whatever reason they think justifies it) park on yellow lines and up curbs at school drop off time. This makes it insanely difficult to see clearly enough to cross a road with small children and without Tufty the Squirrel (1970s road safety reference) it’s a real challenge.
Bad parking makes the road narrower of course which also results in those drivers who are trying to legally travel down Bannerdale Road getting irate and therefore being much more likely to break the speed limit and narrowly miss running over small children on a daily basis.
Traffic wardens simply act as a deterrent on the day and nothing more. They see them standing there and park further away. For 24 hours.
The school has tried to explain the dangers to parents. They don’t seem to listen. Signs are put up. We even had the school council (six year olds and a grown up) challenging parents directly which was a good tactic but it only worked for about three days. And if you aren’t going to listen to a six year old who are you going to listen to?
So answers? Ultimately I suspect hitting parents where it hurts is the answer. For some this would be points on their licence; for most it would be cold hard cash.
Here’s my suggestion.
Just ask your traffic wardens to start their shift a little later. Turn up at 8.45 and just see the result.
1. Everyone could get a parking ticket slapped on their windscreen while the parents are in school depositing their children. Cue swearing and stamping from returning parents and a lesson learnt.
2. The council earns enough money in one morning to buy the litter bin I’ve been asking for for 3 years.
Isn’t that a win win?
Yours sincerely
I’m at a bit of a loss as to how to raise this concern. The website allows me to complain about pot holes and litter but there is no way of complaining about thoughtless dangerous people parking in the wrong place. So I’m sending this to you in the hopes that it reaches someone appropriate.
Now I appreciate some parents can be extremely troublesome. I, for one, am annoying. I keep writing to the council about litter, potholes and traffic congestion. But it seems that some parents are even worse than this, especially when it comes to the use of their legs.
For many parents apparently the idea of parking safely around a school and walking 100 metres further is a terrible inconvenience. I could be forgiving and say there is perhaps a much better reason for this than ignorance and laziness. Perhaps they can’t read the signs, or don’t understand what a yellow line means. Which is worrying in itself as they all appear to have driving licences.
So some of our parents, (for whatever reason they think justifies it) park on yellow lines and up curbs at school drop off time. This makes it insanely difficult to see clearly enough to cross a road with small children and without Tufty the Squirrel (1970s road safety reference) it’s a real challenge.
Bad parking makes the road narrower of course which also results in those drivers who are trying to legally travel down Bannerdale Road getting irate and therefore being much more likely to break the speed limit and narrowly miss running over small children on a daily basis.
Traffic wardens simply act as a deterrent on the day and nothing more. They see them standing there and park further away. For 24 hours.
The school has tried to explain the dangers to parents. They don’t seem to listen. Signs are put up. We even had the school council (six year olds and a grown up) challenging parents directly which was a good tactic but it only worked for about three days. And if you aren’t going to listen to a six year old who are you going to listen to?
So answers? Ultimately I suspect hitting parents where it hurts is the answer. For some this would be points on their licence; for most it would be cold hard cash.
Here’s my suggestion.
Just ask your traffic wardens to start their shift a little later. Turn up at 8.45 and just see the result.
1. Everyone could get a parking ticket slapped on their windscreen while the parents are in school depositing their children. Cue swearing and stamping from returning parents and a lesson learnt.
2. The council earns enough money in one morning to buy the litter bin I’ve been asking for for 3 years.
Isn’t that a win win?
Yours sincerely
Northumberland
I usually do several long rambling posts about our summer holiday. But in Northumberland apparently no-one has any internet connection and frankly the weather was so cold I couldn't hold a pen. For this reason, and the fact that it's now nearly a month later and I'm trying to catch up, I'll do a summary.
Day minus one: Car breaks so we have to hire another one. Which means I spend all week panicking about scraping it on bushes and the amount of sand in the footwells.
Day One: Beamish. Flipping brilliant - highly recommended. Children now obsessed with writing with quill and ink.
Day Two: Walk to Dunstanburgh Castle. This was so windy the kids had to wear snoods in August. It was an upbeat day although exhausting.
Day Three: Alnwick Castle which involved flying broomsticks where Harry Potter did. Not that they are allowed to have anyone dressed as Harry Potter, which seems bonkers to me. Basically a great day if a bit blustery.
Day Four: Obligatory mum meltdown when my careful planning was scuppered by weather. There was no chance of going on a boat because it was too damn choppy. In retrospect I always lose it a bit on day four. We ended up geocaching and failing to find any treasure but finished up in the pub so not all bad. We gave in and lit the fire in the cottage because it was chuffing freezing.
Day Five: Yay for Lindisfarne! We had the most fantastic day all over the island. It's our new favourite place.
Day Six: Lots of rain so we visited yet another castle - Bamburgh - which was good and full of slightly unusual exhibits and staff. One was convinced it was full of ghosts. And I mean really convinced. We ended up eating posh picnic on the beach and having a great afternoon.
Day Seven: Finally got on a boat and the sun shone. Seals, lighthouse and fish and chips. Thank goodness for that.
Day Eight: Drove home via a farm shop (thank the lord for bacon sandwiches) and an overpriced farm with llamas.
As usual we had a pretty amazing week and Northumberland could now be our favourite coastline in the UK. It is so stunning with castles peppered all the way along and sandy quiet beaches. It was flipping cold though. But we will be back.
Day minus one: Car breaks so we have to hire another one. Which means I spend all week panicking about scraping it on bushes and the amount of sand in the footwells.
Day One: Beamish. Flipping brilliant - highly recommended. Children now obsessed with writing with quill and ink.
Day Two: Walk to Dunstanburgh Castle. This was so windy the kids had to wear snoods in August. It was an upbeat day although exhausting.
Day Three: Alnwick Castle which involved flying broomsticks where Harry Potter did. Not that they are allowed to have anyone dressed as Harry Potter, which seems bonkers to me. Basically a great day if a bit blustery.
Day Four: Obligatory mum meltdown when my careful planning was scuppered by weather. There was no chance of going on a boat because it was too damn choppy. In retrospect I always lose it a bit on day four. We ended up geocaching and failing to find any treasure but finished up in the pub so not all bad. We gave in and lit the fire in the cottage because it was chuffing freezing.
Day Five: Yay for Lindisfarne! We had the most fantastic day all over the island. It's our new favourite place.
Day Six: Lots of rain so we visited yet another castle - Bamburgh - which was good and full of slightly unusual exhibits and staff. One was convinced it was full of ghosts. And I mean really convinced. We ended up eating posh picnic on the beach and having a great afternoon.
Day Seven: Finally got on a boat and the sun shone. Seals, lighthouse and fish and chips. Thank goodness for that.
Day Eight: Drove home via a farm shop (thank the lord for bacon sandwiches) and an overpriced farm with llamas.
As usual we had a pretty amazing week and Northumberland could now be our favourite coastline in the UK. It is so stunning with castles peppered all the way along and sandy quiet beaches. It was flipping cold though. But we will be back.
Yorkshire Wildlife Park
I love the Yorkshire Wildlife Park. The conservation approach, the layout, the variety of animals, but essentially the reason I really love it is because it's the living embodiment of Zoo Tycoon.
In the beginning they had limited resources so they had a couple of big names, celebrities from the animal kingdom, but mostly it was full of, well let's just say it as it is, crapper animals. I mean goats are lovely but they aren't exactly what you would call wildlife. Unless you live on a mountain in Spain I suppose.
So people came to see the lions and just like in Zoo Tycoon they were disgruntled about cost and walked about with little clouds over their heads. But people kept on coming. Because it's a flipping long way to Chester if you live in Doncaster. And so money increased and the park has changed accordingly.
If you've never played the game this probably won't make much sense but it's so true to it it's remarkable. The paths got longer. More enclosures arrived. Goats were moved to make way for bigger names like tigers and giraffes. Soft play got more impressive. The shops got bigger and bigger and are now a village apparently. And there are infinitely more litter bins.
I love it. It's been like watching a computer game but in better resolution.
I am being a bit daft of course. It is essentially a thoughtfully designed evolving wildlife park and if you haven't been then you should. Because yes it's expensive but it is without doubt one of the best days out in the North. Not just because they have a spiny anteater.
In the beginning they had limited resources so they had a couple of big names, celebrities from the animal kingdom, but mostly it was full of, well let's just say it as it is, crapper animals. I mean goats are lovely but they aren't exactly what you would call wildlife. Unless you live on a mountain in Spain I suppose.
So people came to see the lions and just like in Zoo Tycoon they were disgruntled about cost and walked about with little clouds over their heads. But people kept on coming. Because it's a flipping long way to Chester if you live in Doncaster. And so money increased and the park has changed accordingly.
If you've never played the game this probably won't make much sense but it's so true to it it's remarkable. The paths got longer. More enclosures arrived. Goats were moved to make way for bigger names like tigers and giraffes. Soft play got more impressive. The shops got bigger and bigger and are now a village apparently. And there are infinitely more litter bins.
I love it. It's been like watching a computer game but in better resolution.
I am being a bit daft of course. It is essentially a thoughtfully designed evolving wildlife park and if you haven't been then you should. Because yes it's expensive but it is without doubt one of the best days out in the North. Not just because they have a spiny anteater.
Monday, 7 July 2014
#consciouskindness So Far
Well my being nicer than usual is a bit of a challenge. Firstly I think I need to change the hashtag as #30daysofbeingnicerthanusual is just too long, even though it does capture the slightly daft nature of this self imposed challenge.
Friday - I went down our road and put Chupa Chups through the doors of everyone I know with children. Enough for one each obviously. I told Paul and he said he wondered whether people would let their children eat them since they didn't know where they came from. A depressing thought.
I also lent a friend a mattress but I'd have done that anyway so it doesn't count.
Saturday - I got cross in town and had a minor melt down. I cheered up though when we went out to dinner and I tipped more than usual. But it was a bit annoying because the waiter wasn't actually very friendly. Now I'm not sure whether the tip will have a) cheered him up and therefore improved his customer service for the rest of his shift, thus benefitting all the later customers, or b) made him think that surly service is a good thing and to carry on as he is.
At 11pm my neighbours brought us curry and rice in yoghurt pots. I know it's Ramadan but I like to think it's also karma. But that's mixing beliefs systems so probably not related. They are just kind. And good cooks.
Sunday - I braced myself and didn't say I had jobs to do when Tilly asked me to watch a loom band tutorial and help her make a 'triple single bracelet' (whatever the hell that is) despite the fact that I really wasn't keen. I did say no to the game of chess request after though so I'm not that saintly.
Monday - I really wasn't that kind and may have used some negative if a little colourful language because of the following:
People who park in cycle lanes;
People who cross roads without looking both ways and therefore nearly getting hit by bicycles;
Sheffield City Council who haven't mended Abbeydale Road and seem to think I want to ride a boneshaker;
Gross man who needed to wee on the footpath as I rode past to avoid potholes on actual road.
Let's see if I can cheer up enough to be kind later on...
I am currently liking #consciouskindness, in the sense that I'm just making myself think about being kind a bit more. And also recognising that I am actually quite kind some of the time and that I should probably stop beating myself up. But Paul says it's too difficult to spell so I'm open to suggestions.
It's also not as exciting as a happy photo a day in terms of social media interaction. There isn't much scope for comment about me helping an old lady cross the road (not that I've found one to help with that yet). I'm also finding it extremely tricky to think of extra things to be kind about. So far I've done this:
Friday - I went down our road and put Chupa Chups through the doors of everyone I know with children. Enough for one each obviously. I told Paul and he said he wondered whether people would let their children eat them since they didn't know where they came from. A depressing thought.
I also lent a friend a mattress but I'd have done that anyway so it doesn't count.
Saturday - I got cross in town and had a minor melt down. I cheered up though when we went out to dinner and I tipped more than usual. But it was a bit annoying because the waiter wasn't actually very friendly. Now I'm not sure whether the tip will have a) cheered him up and therefore improved his customer service for the rest of his shift, thus benefitting all the later customers, or b) made him think that surly service is a good thing and to carry on as he is.
At 11pm my neighbours brought us curry and rice in yoghurt pots. I know it's Ramadan but I like to think it's also karma. But that's mixing beliefs systems so probably not related. They are just kind. And good cooks.
Sunday - I braced myself and didn't say I had jobs to do when Tilly asked me to watch a loom band tutorial and help her make a 'triple single bracelet' (whatever the hell that is) despite the fact that I really wasn't keen. I did say no to the game of chess request after though so I'm not that saintly.
Monday - I really wasn't that kind and may have used some negative if a little colourful language because of the following:
People who park in cycle lanes;
People who cross roads without looking both ways and therefore nearly getting hit by bicycles;
Sheffield City Council who haven't mended Abbeydale Road and seem to think I want to ride a boneshaker;
Gross man who needed to wee on the footpath as I rode past to avoid potholes on actual road.
Let's see if I can cheer up enough to be kind later on...
Thursday, 3 July 2014
#100 Happy Days...What's next?
So that's it. 100 pictures of things that made me happy on every single one of the last 100 days have been uploaded to facebook. I will aim to do a montage when I work out how, and order a photo book because actually I think it's been a hugely worthwhile exercise for me.
Ok so most of my pictures are of the children. On their better days. But there are also lots of pictures of me being happy. And other people and things that make me happy. I have had my eyes opened to how many things do that.
Days out, my husband, friends, singing, food, achievements, wine, new things, holidays, birthdays, silliness, reading, memories, family, rabbits, playing, nights out, quiet, my home, work and even bizarrely a spot of exercise.
The idea was it was supposed to make me see that even on the worst of days there are glimmers of joy. It did that. It may be cheesy but I'd recommend it for giving a bit of a positive boost. I tried hard to pick my favourite photo - which probably has to be the one of me and the family on holiday. But instead I'm using this - a picture of me being, well, happy.
The only trouble is I'm left with a gap. What do I do now? Clearly trying to do a different thing every week for a year on www.beantrying.blogspot.com is not enough.
My good friend gave me a bottle of wine today. It was a truly kind gesture to thank me for something small I did yesterday. A couple of weeks ago I went to a comedy gig about kindness. I think that is enough to give me an idea. Perhaps I should focus on small acts of kindness.
100 days is a stretch. I mean I'm just not that nice. But I'm going to start with a month of kindness and see what happens. Not being self congratulatory just a concerted effort to be kind to someone. I'll call it #30daysofbeingnicerthanusual... Let's see what happens...
Ok so most of my pictures are of the children. On their better days. But there are also lots of pictures of me being happy. And other people and things that make me happy. I have had my eyes opened to how many things do that.
Days out, my husband, friends, singing, food, achievements, wine, new things, holidays, birthdays, silliness, reading, memories, family, rabbits, playing, nights out, quiet, my home, work and even bizarrely a spot of exercise.
The idea was it was supposed to make me see that even on the worst of days there are glimmers of joy. It did that. It may be cheesy but I'd recommend it for giving a bit of a positive boost. I tried hard to pick my favourite photo - which probably has to be the one of me and the family on holiday. But instead I'm using this - a picture of me being, well, happy.
The only trouble is I'm left with a gap. What do I do now? Clearly trying to do a different thing every week for a year on www.beantrying.blogspot.com is not enough.
My good friend gave me a bottle of wine today. It was a truly kind gesture to thank me for something small I did yesterday. A couple of weeks ago I went to a comedy gig about kindness. I think that is enough to give me an idea. Perhaps I should focus on small acts of kindness.
100 days is a stretch. I mean I'm just not that nice. But I'm going to start with a month of kindness and see what happens. Not being self congratulatory just a concerted effort to be kind to someone. I'll call it #30daysofbeingnicerthanusual... Let's see what happens...
Too much to do
I've been awake since 5am. I woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of a dream where I was late to watch the girls in a show, Dad couldn't park and we'd all missed the best bit. There were also people picking up toys from the grass and people everywhere (quite a lot of them arguing with me) making me feel somewhat squished in the brain department. Not exactly hard to work out what's going on there then. I'm not at all struggling with the incessant round of child related things that are happening and feeling the pressure to a) turn up on time with all the correct children and their accoutrements and b) have a clue what's going on.
This week so far:
Monday - After work visit Decathlon and Go Outdoors in an attempt to buy relevant items for Brownie camp. Fail to buy a 'sitter' and feel frustrated that nowadays for camp cutlery it's a Spork or nothing. Mustn't forget to bring the extra child home after school (specified one). First child being picked up by a friend. Hand over extra child at 5.15. Pick 3 children up from choir and deliver to respective homes. Make tea. Insist first child finishes homework. Listen to second child's buggering sponsored read bobbins (don't get me started). Read extremely long chapter of Hetty Feather to children. Wrestle children into bed. Collapse.
Tuesday - Mustn't forget to bring extra child home after school. Second child at a friend's house. On return of second child feed all children and myself to avoid vomiting at bootcamp. Repeat homework and reading as before. Go to bootcamp. Sit sweatily on bed and read extremely long chapter of Hetty Feather to children. Repeat wrestling and collapsing.
Wednesday - Leave work early to watch Sports Day. Remember to buy cake. End up adding up scores for Panther team for Sports Day which leaves me with feeling of slight guilt in case I gave them too many points. They came second which I think is a perfect result. I don't look like I exaggerated the points and yet daughter's team very happy. Walk to fields and have a picnic for a friend's daughter and eat cake and strawberries (Hooray!). Pick up child number one from yoga. Frantically try to glue in photos, cuttings and various things that were stuck to the fridge into Arts Award portfolio with eldest daughter as it's a week late, while cooking dinner badly and trying to ignore the carnage that is my house. Have a rant about the mess and no-one picking up socks from kitchen floor. This includes me. Insist child number one does guitar practice (twice a week is fine right?). Read, wrestle, go singing. We skipped the school disco thankfully. There's only so much Gangnam Style I can take.
Thursday - Wake up ludicrously early and instead of doing housework, having a shower or making packed lunches use time effectively by finishing Bridget Jones - Mad About the Boy. Ah that's why I'm writing in this weird stilted style with no joining words. It was good though - cried a lot.
In a minute I have to start properly: not forget to send child to school with guitar, do the usual and then end the day watching eldest child get yet another award for attending extra curricular activities. Must remember to buy her another folder for more certificates. Must also fit in exercise as I can't go to bootcamp tonight. Which is tricky because my stomach hurts when I cough. Or move.
Two weeks two days to go until the holidays, and counting. Not that I'm off work much but at least I can leave everyone in pyjamas watching Little Princess with a bagel. Until at least 1.30.
This week so far:
Monday - After work visit Decathlon and Go Outdoors in an attempt to buy relevant items for Brownie camp. Fail to buy a 'sitter' and feel frustrated that nowadays for camp cutlery it's a Spork or nothing. Mustn't forget to bring the extra child home after school (specified one). First child being picked up by a friend. Hand over extra child at 5.15. Pick 3 children up from choir and deliver to respective homes. Make tea. Insist first child finishes homework. Listen to second child's buggering sponsored read bobbins (don't get me started). Read extremely long chapter of Hetty Feather to children. Wrestle children into bed. Collapse.
Tuesday - Mustn't forget to bring extra child home after school. Second child at a friend's house. On return of second child feed all children and myself to avoid vomiting at bootcamp. Repeat homework and reading as before. Go to bootcamp. Sit sweatily on bed and read extremely long chapter of Hetty Feather to children. Repeat wrestling and collapsing.
Wednesday - Leave work early to watch Sports Day. Remember to buy cake. End up adding up scores for Panther team for Sports Day which leaves me with feeling of slight guilt in case I gave them too many points. They came second which I think is a perfect result. I don't look like I exaggerated the points and yet daughter's team very happy. Walk to fields and have a picnic for a friend's daughter and eat cake and strawberries (Hooray!). Pick up child number one from yoga. Frantically try to glue in photos, cuttings and various things that were stuck to the fridge into Arts Award portfolio with eldest daughter as it's a week late, while cooking dinner badly and trying to ignore the carnage that is my house. Have a rant about the mess and no-one picking up socks from kitchen floor. This includes me. Insist child number one does guitar practice (twice a week is fine right?). Read, wrestle, go singing. We skipped the school disco thankfully. There's only so much Gangnam Style I can take.
Thursday - Wake up ludicrously early and instead of doing housework, having a shower or making packed lunches use time effectively by finishing Bridget Jones - Mad About the Boy. Ah that's why I'm writing in this weird stilted style with no joining words. It was good though - cried a lot.
In a minute I have to start properly: not forget to send child to school with guitar, do the usual and then end the day watching eldest child get yet another award for attending extra curricular activities. Must remember to buy her another folder for more certificates. Must also fit in exercise as I can't go to bootcamp tonight. Which is tricky because my stomach hurts when I cough. Or move.
Two weeks two days to go until the holidays, and counting. Not that I'm off work much but at least I can leave everyone in pyjamas watching Little Princess with a bagel. Until at least 1.30.
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